This is Gonna Hurt

I had this roommate in college, Wendy, who would come home from field hockey practice and jump rope to The Cars for 30 cardio-filled minutes while I ate potato chips. She was a disciplined athlete with long, lean muscles and long, blond hair. Kind of like Erin, my boss and workout partner.

Like Wendy, Erin clearly likes men who boss her around when she’s wearing sweats. Case in point: our trainer Mike Brandmeier, whose obnoxious text messages over the holidays almost made me pull the battery out of my phone.

"How’s your workout going?"
"Are you doing cardio every day?"
"How’s your diet?"
"What did you eat today?"

Well gee Mike – I was on a road trip with my husband and two kids sitting in a car for 2,000 miles on my rump, eating In-N-Out Burgers until I got to Vail, where I did huff and puff on the slopes for a few days, the muscles in my hands aching and my calves screaming, before heading to Arizona where my cousin, Laura, had a chocolate fondue fountain waiting, with huge pink marshmallows and pretzels for dipping.

"Yes Mike," I texted back, "I’m working out every day."

Before we left for the holidays, Mike was giving us workouts he picked up from "The Biggest Loser," not because he was implying anything, but because pushing a treadmill without turning it on is really a great resistance exercise. Hmmm. And then there were those weights he had us lifting in the lobby of The Sports Club/LA, right in front of everyone.

"I’m not trying to humiliate you," he said.

Anyone who believes him is just plain stupid. On the basketball court, I threw a heavy medicine ball at him, instead of at the wall – on purpose – even though he practically saved my life when a basketball was headed for my nose.

Weight loss since I started this program on Dec. 10, 2009: zero.

But back to Erin, the disciplined one. Here’s Erin’s latest feedback:

My pants fit. They really do! It’s been a month since our challenge began and I already see a difference. And I’d better! Because in that month I spent half the time working out and the other half recovering from the workout. Mike’s favorite line – “Hate me now, love me later” – is ringing true. I love him already for making these pants fit. But boy did I hate him after I could barely stand for three days last week after 90 crunches on the BOSU ball. (Google it! I didn’t know what it was either, but now I have become intimately familiar with that half ball of hell.)

I’ve found that the key to my success is Mike. First, he doesn’t let me quit. But more importantly, he keeps me interested. In my past “workout” life, which I’ve come to realize was barely that, I got bored easily. And I despised trying to figure out what to do and for how long. With Mike, I have to do the work, but he decides what the routine is for the day. He stands there, encouraging me, until I’ve completed 15 reps… or 30… or 90… or what feels like 550. He chooses weights much heavier than I’d ever choose for myself. He pushes me until I think I can’t do anymore pull-ups and then has me do two more.

And what I’ve learned so far in this challenge is that I can do those last two pull-ups. Just when I think I don’t have it in me to do one more of whatever it is Mike has challenged me to do, I can find the energy to push myself and accomplish the task he has set for me. And I may hate him when he’s doing it, but I’m loving the results.

This is why Erin is Coast's publisher and I am the editor. She is driven to success by the very nature of her being; and I am, so far, just interested in the idea.