Butterball Turkeys

I now know what will happen in Orange County if a natural disaster strikes. We will endure. We will be uncomfortable and we will complain profusely, loudly. But we will move on. I witnessed a microcosm of this at The Sports Club/LA - Orange County this morning. All those locals devoted to toning their abs and biceps, sweating it out on the ellipticals, stairs, bikes, basketball and squash courts before work, were in for a shock when they hit the cushy locker rooms and found out that the showers were not throwing out any hot water. That’s right, go to work sweating or take a cold shower. Squeals and complaining aside, this small elite group proved that in a pinch, any kind of water will do.

I, however, had another issue to contend with: the aftermath of a workout with Mike. I was trying to keep up with Erin, who has risen far above my level of fitness and commitment – the woman has turned into the gym version of "Xena: Warrior Princess." The lunges were never-ending, and then more lunges with weights. Instead of needing a cold shower, I needed the Jacuzzi jets to hit me hard on my glutes. And I needed to examine my muscles, or lack thereof, in the mirror more closely. According to The Sports Club/LA’s fat-measuring machine, when I weighed back in to see if I was, in fact, the biggest loser this month, it turned out that while I registered a whopping seven-pound weight loss and another 2% loss of body fat, I had somehow lost muscle as well.

I could see Mike’s mind spinning, thinking of more and more exercises to throw at me that would build my muscles. A smile rose across his face. Next Monday, 7:30 a.m., he said. Racquetball. Now Mike does not know this, but sequestering himself inside a tiny glass box with me, a racquet and hard little blue balls that ricochet off the court walls may be a suggestion he only makes once. Stay tuned…

I was one of the many that opted for the cold shower. I’d like to lie and say I needed the shower because I was covered in sweat as a result of my very difficult workout. But, since I promised Justine I would tell the truth, I have to be honest: I was partly sweaty because Mike had just finished telling me that his lean body is only 12% body fat. After that I just started looking at him differently. So, I’ll admit: I got a little overheated during the workout but it wasn’t the lunges. Did Justine mention we were going to be locked in a tiny box with this man next week? I can think of worse things.

I must note here for the record that Mike is like a little brother to me and we are both very happily married to amazingly wonderful people who we talk about non-stop during my workout sessions… but as Justine mentioned in an earlier post, a little eye candy sure makes the workouts more enjoyable. And while we’re not there to find boyfriends, if you’re looking for one, I might suggest joining the club.

Back to the real reason we’re doing this. It was weigh-in day. And I am proud to announce after weeks of lunges, weights, push-ups, running, crunches, nausea, sweat and tears (OK, that’s a little dramatic… I haven’t been brought to tears – yet), I have officially lost 10 pounds and decreased my body fat percentage by 3%. Which puts my body fat percentage at exactly 20% above Mike’s. For those of you who can’t do the math, let me help you: One third of my body is fat. So while I’m glancing over at Mike’s muscular legs, he’s looking at 212 sticks of butter when he looks at me. Which should help explain why I haven’t posted a blog entry in two weeks. I have no time to write, I have to get to the gym!